Single Female Looking for a Perfectly Normal Roommate

What could possibly be worse than a season of countless horrible dates? 

A season of absolutely horrid interviews for a roommate. Two months ago, my roommate decided to abandon me (aka she fell in love and moved in with her boyfriend). My ex-roomie was in uncontrollable bliss while I on the other hand had a long, exhausting and sometimes creepy search ahead of me.

Due to the fact that I am in my twenties, don't live in NYC and have an almost ignorant penchant for the positive, my quest began on Craigslist. What kind of roommates will you find on Craigslist? I'll enlighten you.

The Stoner

The first question they'll ask you is, "Are you 420 friendly?" Don't get me wrong! I have no problem with smokers. It's the smokers that only work three shifts a week in retail, meet me an hour late and come to my door higher than Bob Marley that kind of get to me.

The College Chick

I just graduated from College of Charleston in 2013 but OH, the lines have been drawn! Every sorority girl or hipster cool kid that came to my door exuded desperation and frustration. I IMMEDIATELY knew these girls were either kicked out of their dorm mid-semester or voted off their friends islands. The first question they'll ask you is, "You don't mind parties do you? Like, a majority of them are on the weekends. But sometimes they aren't. And the music never gets too loud except for sometimes on the weekends."

Somebody's Sad Ol' Mom!

I cannot tell you how many recently divorced 40 to 50-year-old women answered my Craigslist ad. And, as we all know, I am a crier! I couldn't ask them anything about themselves without it turning into an all out bawl fest.  PEOPLE! Get your mom! She is trying to move in with a girl that still finds it acceptable to stay up past 10 p.m. and eat brownies for breakfast. Somewhere during the interview or email, your mom will say, "I know I'm older but I'm no fuddy dud! or stick in the mud" (True story.)

The "Older" Girl in Her Twenties

This girl is super pretentious and will judge every aspect of your apartment. She'l call your TV stand "so college" and ask why your bike is in the kitchen. Older girl is in fact only two or three years older than you but has gained all the wisdom of the cosmos in that short period of time. Somewhere in between her eye rolls she'll ask, "Do you have parties here? The most I ever do is drink wine with my girlfriends and maybe watch a movie."

The Dude

Yes. At a point I got desperate enough to think I could live with a male stranger. I have lived with guys in the past but only guy friends that I knew really well. The Dude option does not end well. He will either be disgusting or hit on you the entire time you show him the apartment. Lucky me! I got both gems. The first guy that knocked on my door had B.O. only a person with no nose could love and told me he had to "talk to his mom" about moving in. The last guy I interviewed came at me with only one question after the walk-through, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

P.S. 

An app that makes finding roommates fun? Mentira!

One girl's success story.

Roomdex better than Craigslist? Hmmm... 

Haha!