reasons why I'll never be called an adult

Ha! An adult. Me?! HA. It's honestly laughable. And my friends would say the same.

Yes, I am responsible. Yes, I have an incredible post-grad job at a PR firm. Yes, I pay all my bills on time.

But I have some key aspects of my personality that prevent ANYONE from calling me an actual adult.

1) Last night, I ate pretzels dipped in peanut butter with a Bomb Pop on the side.

This is not a meal. This will never constitute as a meal. But damn, it was delicious.

2) Two words: Pixy Stix

And Sweettarts and Fun Dip!!! I think once you become an adult, your taste buds shrivel up and you no longer appreciate the deliciousness of these candies. I know, I know...THEY ARE SO GOOD!!! This "kiddie crack" makes me want to dance and do flips off a bunk bed at my grandma's house (don't ask)!

3) Scaring people. I love it.

I ADORE scaring people. Honestly it's a hobby. I am so dedicated to this art form that I have spent over TEN MINUTES hiding underneath a kitchen sink just to scare my twin. The reaction...worth it. My week long back pain.......STILL worth it.

4) Buggies are my playground.

Or grocery carts if you are a Yankee. Listen, I love the grocery store. But my FAVORITE part is the buggies. You can hop inside them while your roommate releuctantly pushes you. AND you can race them in the parking lot. THEY.ARE.AWESOME.

5) Yes. My favorite television show is Avatar: The Last Airbender.

The main character of this TV show is a 12 year old.
The show is an animated cartoon.
The show comes on Nickelodeon. 

WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! Hear me out. This show is actually one of the best children's shows on television and has a great message about tolerance, perervance and sticking to your moral compass. Unfortunately, it is still a cartoon which makes me NOT an adult.

6) I could eat French fries every single day for the rest of my LIFE. And that's not an exaggeration.

I gave them up for Lent and truly went through withdrawals. The only reason I don't eat them HOURLY is because I would be dead already. Worth it...???


My aunt always tells me I'm secretly a 10 year old white boy. Just call me...


UNDERCOVER KID!!!


Peace easy,

the fourth

P.S. What ever happened to Zukko's mom??!!! Damn you DiMartino!